Dating post-noughties!

After The Girl decided that she was no longer happy I did not expect anyone else to be interested in me, and certainly did not expect to meet anyone else, so I was rather suprised (actually it was more than 'rather' and unexpected) when after chatting to a friend on 'Stalkerbook' who had also seperated from her Partner, she indicated that she was "interested" and would love to meet up (well when I say indicated she came right out and said it.....I'm afraid that I am absolutely terrible at picking up the signs.....which will probably explain what happened between the Girl and I!)

I have known her for a while, and whilst I have always got on well with her had never thought about her in that way. As I said I am terrible at reading signs, and she has told me that she is equally as bad. It was only when we were both asked about the other by friends who had apparently noted our 'flirting' on "stalkerbook" and asked if there was something more to it that we both realised that there was possibly something more than we first thought.

So for the first time in over two years I have those butterflies in my stomach.

This however has left me in a dilema.........What do you do on a first date?

I am no longer 15, when you could meet a girl on a Friday night at a disco or at the ice skating, kiss, and then arrange to meet up in town on Saturday morning (and it is no longer the early nineties!) I sometimes think it was a simpler time.....but then again it is probably the rose tinted glasses!

Nor am I 21 at University where you would generally meet up with a girl in the union bar, and then able to arrange to meet up there the following evening, or lunchtime, or morning (sorry almost kept a straight face with that one.)

We both really like being outside, so possibly a walk on the beach or along some of the footpaths round East Yorkshire, followed by a pub lunch/dinner, and both also have hugely eclectic musical tastes so any live music could also be an option, but I'm really not sure what else to suggest. Dinner at a restaurant may be nice, but can be somewhat formal or stunted.

Any suggestions would be greatfully received!

Becoming a Man

Growning up I had two real male influences in my life........and who have shaped me into the man that I am today. I can catch, skin, prepare and cook wild animals (although try not to need to do so anymore!) , can treat a woman with respect, can discuss cars and engines (with the impression of knowing what I'm talking about!)compete in a scrum or lineout, chop trees, give my heart to a woman, neck a pint in about 3 seconds, (enjoy sitting with kittens, cry at Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, draw and read a map - not sure about the validity of these)

My first was my paternal Grandfather, who died when I was about 7 years old. He was a veteran of the Second World War, who spent the rest of his life in the army, as a senior officer in what became the Yorkshire Regiment, and who was on one of the last ships out of Singapore before it fell. Despite never speaking of what he did during the war (although I have researched it and the decorations that he received were well and truly won!) after the war he dedicated his life to nature conservation and became a senior officer in the Yorkshire Wildlife Trust. I only knew him for a short time, but remember him strongly as as wonderful man, who put his family first before everything, and was a complete gentleman, despite his somewhat rebellious youth! He and my Nana lived in York and we would go over every other Sunday where we would play in his garden, and he had a small sweet box which we were allowed to choose one after dinner, before watching the A-Team, Tom and Jerry, and wrestling (the proper wrestling with Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy.....when wrestlers were real! I'm pretty sure of that fact :) )

He was the first person to give me chocolate (at the age of a couple of months, even though my Parents were not going to give us sweets!) and promised me a whole large bar of chocolate when I could lift his medicine ball! Unfortunately I was only able to do this after his death. He was also the first person to give me beer (I say gave me.....rather he had vats of homebrew in ths garage that I was able to access!) I will always remember him and will always regret not having more opportunities to spend time with him.

The other male influence who has made me the man I am now and shall always be the most important man in my life is my Father. He like his own Father is a genuine gentleman, and I believe that without his influence and guidance I do not know where I would be. Like his Father he is ex-military who has developed a deep seated love for nature and the environment. He is kind and generous, will give his last pound to anyone who needs it, will treat a woman with respect, but is also hard working but still a lot of fun to be around!

My only hope is that if I can be even a fraction of the men that my Father and Grandfather are or have been then I will have really have acheived something with my life

A Revelation!

It was after a long boring day at the office, and whilst walking home that I noticed that something was missing, something that has been hanging around my neck for the last few months......as I walked down Newland Avenue in Hull I realised that the stomach twisting, heart wrenching pain that has been with me for what has felt like years has gone, although has in fact only been three months.

It was the first time for a while that I felt like myself. I felt lighter and things seemed brighter. I could see a future for myself. I don't see a relationship in the future, but I know that I can be happy by myself.

This doesn't mean that I don't miss The Girl, or care about her, or that I don't wish her anything other than the greatest and happiest future possible, as I always have, but I feel that I have truely moved on.

And when the heavens opened.....

....there is something really pleasant about lying in bed, under a duvet, listening to the rain hammering on the window. (That is until you realise that it is 5am and you still have to get up in the dark!)

This morning was one such morning.....opening the curtains to see the rain scything down under the flourescent street lights, forming huge puddles (or more accurately olympic size swimming pools in the gutters!) and knowing that in a few minutes you will be out in that deluge!

I really like being out in the rain (I'm sure it is a flash back to childhood.....jumping in puddles whilst wearing wellies) but at that time in the morning with the whole day ahead of you it is less pleasant. Somewhat soggy I arrived at the station, and found everyone huddling under the shelters, rather than the usual scrum at the doors so of course I joined them.

Imaging my pleasure to arrive in Manchester to be greeted by beautiful blue skies and a bright sun such that the sunglasses came out for the first time since France.....unfortunately this lasted until lunchtime when the heavens opened in the West too.

By home time the streets were awash, and visibility was down to about 20 feet due to the rain bouncing back up off the pavement. As I said I love the rain, and when you know you are leaving work I really don't mind getting wet. I can never understand people cowering in doorways, making dashes from pieces of cover to the next......okay if you have forgotten your umbrella or coat you are likely to get wet and no matter how much ducking or improvisng is realistically going to stop that.

I still don't understand the theory of putting a newspaper above your head! It may keep you dry for a few minutes but you are likely to end up with a damp paper mache helmet plastered to your head (okay my hair is reasonably short and sufficient unruley that it doesn't matter how wet it gets it still does it's own thing, and my makeup collection is sufficiently limited that it is unlikely to run in the wet!) I also don't understand the theory that standing in a doorway till it passes if the whole sky looks the colour of charcoal and the rain is coming down in stair-rods (not sure where that phrase comes from). Humans are designed to get wet......we have this magic barrier that prevent water getting in.....and we have managed for millenia with just this, before even putting clothes on top (I'm pretty sure I didn't miss the physiology class where we were told that humans were water soluble.....although I admit that I missed the comparative anatomy class where we compared homo sapiens with Wizard of Oz characters so I may be wrong!)

As it was I got a very relaxing, soothing walk home from the office, past cowering crowds, along pretty deserted streets with the swirl of colours mixing on the pavement or in the drains from small spills of oil, only occasionally having to avoid a fellow pedestrian bowed beneath their umbrellas.....and if I got a little wet, well I didn't have to sit next to me on the train whilst I dried out :)

Lil Niece!

My sister and niece are shortly to move down to Oxfordshire to move closer to her husband's work, so this was the last weekend we got to spend time together as a family for a while, and it meant that we spent the weekend as a family, and it was fantastic....(especially as I will also be moving to Manchester in the next few weeks as well! - something that I have mixed feelings about.....I can't wait to not have to spend four hours a day commuting, but have spent time in Manchester previously and have not taken to it massively and really love Hull)

Spending time as a family meant that there have been a lot of sitting around the table or in the garden soaking up the sun, talking, telling jokes, and remembering funny times and stories (most of which were highly embarrassing and usually centred around one or other of us doing stupid things often as the result of alcohol, or excessive sugar!) Whilst I am certainly going to miss my sister, I am also hugely going to miss my little four year old niece, who is such a hugely joyous part of our family.

Her arrival was something of a surprise. She arrived whilst I was living in Birkenhead, and my half-brother's ex-wife was pregnant (our family is seriously mixed up!!!!!) when I received a telephone call at about 6pm. I was just back from work and my Father telephoned to tell me that I was an uncle again...... (I already had 4 nephews and a niece, and my half-brother had separated from his wife and the child wasn't his so wasn't too bothered.......told you we were really mixed up!).....that went something along these lines!

"Great! Tell R...... and N....... I hope they are well!"
"No, it's not N...... it's B..... your sister!"
"Pardon? What the ******? How can she have had a baby? She's not even pregnant?"
"Seriously!"
"We saw her last weekend, she was definitely not pregnant......we went to the pub and everything!"
"Well she most definitely was as she's now at HRI with a little baby girl!"
"We'll be over next weekend!"

There really was no indication that she was pregnant, an even having been to a Dr that day she really had no idea (I know that this is the sort of thing that you read about in 'Hello' or 'OK' and think "yeah.....right......how can you not know?" but seriously there was no indication at all!) So very bravely my sister brought little niece into the world. She is truly remarkable. Now at 4 she is loves to dance and sing, has known most of the lyrics to "Mama Mia" for about a year and a half, and will take any opportunity to put on a show. She also loves to dance and if she isn't on the stage when she is older I will eat my hat......well maybe not, but she does have the temperament to be great on stage.

So this lil bundle of shock and confusion that arrived four years ago is a huge part of the whole family's life, who touches the life of everyone who meets her, and who is such a caring and loving little person, is shortly to move away, and I know that we will all miss her (although we will be visiting as often as possible!)

Music calms the savage beast!

It is amazing how music is able to bring so many different emotions, how you can choose a track that you know is going to match your mood perfectly......to pick you up....to bring you down.....to chill you out.....or to get your arse out of the door for a night out.

For me Moby's - Why does my heart will always bring a tear to my eye, as will My Immortal by Evanescene, and there are times when everyone has to cry (admittedly I am a big kinda wuss....I mean I'm a big rufty toughty caveman! Honest.....well one that admits to having shed a few tears over Extreme Makeovers Home Edition). I think that there has to be times when you can close yourself away in your room and release all your pent up emotions. I found this especially hard when I was in a relationship, as although there were times that we were apart, it was difficult to shed a tear. One of my favourite places to go to be by myself is Beverley Westwood, especially in the autumn at either dusk or dawn, to see the sun rising of setting through bare trees with mist flowing.

Viva la Vida by Coldplay will always remind me of happier times after seeing them at one of the most amzing concerts that I have ever been to (Chris Martin was amazing, and I don't think anyone will be able to cover any of his tracks because of his unique voice!)

Scooter's Nessaja's lyrics always make me smile. I dont think that I can hear "It's not bird, it's not a plane, it must be Dave who's on the train!" without laughing out loud! Anything by Radiohead will calm me down (I think they can probably calm anyone down.....just not the type of music to listen to when your down though! Kinda messy!) and anything by Linkin Park will lift me up.

I went through a period when whatever mood I wanted to feel I could play Linkin Park to take me there, from "Numb" to "What I've done".

My musical tastes match my mind completely, eclectic. I grew up dancing to the sounds of Guns and Roses and Meatloaf, and somehow progressed to dancing around in warehouses to hardcore dance mixes. I haven't changed at all and will dance to anything (I have to admit that now it takes two or three drinks to get me on the floor now) ......when I stayed in York we would go out about once a week dancing, and I miss it.....crazy as I used to live a few doors down from Welly Club in Hull.....kinda stupid not to use what was on the doorstep, but very rarely did! I hope that this can change shortly when I move to Manchester!

I love music, and the way that it can affect you psychologically.

Being British

Whilst I was in France I began to question what it is to be British. I am fiercely proud to be Brisith (I say British rather than English as my Father is Scots/Irish and my Mother is Welsh) but still class myself as from this 'Sceptred Isle'. I am also hugely proud of having Hull as my hometown, and being classed as a 'Yorkshireman!'. However when it comes to community and national pride, we seem to take a very British stiff upper lip, must not make a fuss attitude, which I really think is a shame. We are, and have been since the Romans' first conquered us, a hugely multicultural society but we do not seem to be able to stand up and say "Here we are, we are British!"



This is at complete odds to the reaction that you see in France, who are equally diverse and multicultural, although community and national pride is something that they readily display. A simple example was a French family I met, who although they lived in Canada their 7 year old daughter considered France her Mother Country, and who knew more French history, traditions and heritage than I did about England. Did that mean that they had a longer history, or more heritage, that we do......I didn't think so, but this question kept coming back to me as I saw more and more of their pride in the country and community.

This culminated when I went to a re-enactment of the last battle of the Hundred Years War, which led to the expulsion of the British from Aquitainne. It took place outside a small town called Castillion (now Castillion de Battaile!) about 30 kilometres from Bordeaux. Having been to a couple of re-enactments I was not sure what to expect (they can be somewhat of a mixed bag usually......and certainly my expectations were not enhanced to see on arrival a dozen frenchwomen dressed as what I can only describe as warrior princesses, with leather and fur......a VERY VERY SCARY SIGHT!) Fortunately the event itself did not conform to my initial impressions.

It did not start until 10:30pm and was set in a valley beneath an old chateau, with a large grandstand. I did wonder whether it would just be a bunch of men hitting each other with swords, more for their enjoyment than anything else, but this could not have been further from the truth. The fighting itself only consisted of a small proportion of the three hour spectacle. It consisted of about 700 local people who portrayed the everyday life of life in the mid-15th Century, from Lords out hunting, to the lowliest ox drivers and washer women. I think that they probably emptied the majority of the town, who all took great pleasure in displaying their town's and country's history 5 weekends throughout July and August.

It was an amazing experience to be sitting surrounded by about 4,000 french men, women and children all experiencing and enjoying their history in fantastic surroundings (it also smacked somewhat of watching 'Braveheart' in a Scottish cinema hearing the cheers as the British were womped!) As we left the cast formed a channel through which the entire audience walked to be greated and thanked. There was such a feeling of community that I had to question whether such a thing could ever take place in the UK? I have no doubt that we have equally as many key turning points in our history of which we can be proud but I cannot see that we would ever have the community or national spirit to put on such a spectacle.

I don't for a minute support or even condone the views of the more radical political groups who do not seem to be able to grasp that to be 'British' is to have such a mix of cultures and histories. From Celts, to Romans, Angles, Saxons, Vikings, Normans and so on, but I do think it is a shame that we do not seem to be able to put aside our Georgian veneer and say "yes were British, this is who we are, where we have come from, what we have done, acheived and this is where we are now!"

Recently there has been a movement to get to know your neighbours, to hold street parties, and I think that is a great idea, that we can grow stronger as communities, towns, and indeed a nation!

Where life takes you?

Returning to the UK has left me feeling somewhat unsettled, and I find myself wondering where my life will lead me next.



I always hate travelling back from holiday anyway, and a stop over in the office before catching the train for my final leg of the journey made me realise that after a week of relaxed business, I am returning to the hectic non-stop life of the rat-race with a mammoth catch up week ahead of me. I have never understood why, when you are excited about travelling to go away on holiday the journey always seems to fly by, when when you are returning home, with little or nothing to look forward to the journey seems to last an indeterminable length of time (surely it should be the other way round? I would have thought that with something to look forward to time would seem stretched and drawn out!)

This has been compounded by a horrendous first day back......a five hour journey to Canterbury.....extended by missing the train I was supposed to be on, for an hour and a half interview, for a further four and a half journey back!

As it is sitting on the train, looking at the photographs that I have taken of the little piece of Eden that I was fortunate to spend a week in, I question what am I coming back to? I know that I have my friends and family, and they are very important to me, but ultimately I return to a job that was always ever going to be a second or third choice, to a home town that I am soon to be leaving, and the empty ache that tells me that I know that for a short time I had everything that I wanted in the palm of my hand, and that it slipped away (I know people keep telling me that if it was going to happen it was better to happen now before we committed ourselves any deeper - but that doesn't really help the here and now!)

I have had a number of 'dream jobs' that I could have followed, and yet life has brought me to this point. I don't regret aby of my choices and I know that I have been hugely fortunate in the chances that I have had (I have seen armed service, played rugby professionally and fenced for my Country) but I keep returning to the question........"Is this what I can expect for the rest of my life?" Don't get me wrong, I quite enjoy the work I do, but it is and always has been a means to an end, to pay my bills and to allow me to do the things I would like to do (and it keeps my bank manager happy!) I suppose at the end of the day that is all you can expect from a job, but should there be something more?

Home from home!

Dear UK,

Weather here! Wish you were beautiful!

The view on arrival

I had intended to update "Blogland" more often en France, but a combintation of lethargy, extreme activity (well not so much activity, but rather sun bathing and intermittent vinyard visits) and a somewhat sporadic internet access has meant that rather than bore you all with the things I have been doing (or more to the point things that I haven't) I thought it sensible to update you occasionally.

What a sight to wake up to!

As it is I have arrived at what is a home from home. There are no pressures, life is so relaxed and time has no real meaning, with the peace and quiet forming a complete blanket from the world at large. If you wake at 7a.m. then you can cycle (yes I know somewhat stereotypical for France) to the boulangerie for the fresh bread, take the dog for a walk and swim in the Garonne, pick fresh fruit and vegetables straight from the trees or vines.....yet if you do not wake until 11a.m. (depending upon the volume of alcohol and food stuffed into you the night before) it really isn't a problem either and the countryside and sun is there to welcome you when you do walk through the door.

I have had a lot of homes up and down the UK, but nothing feels more like my parents' home in Hull than the house in Barie. It is such a warm and friendly atmosphere that immediately makes you feel relaxed and at ease. There is so much space around that even when other people are around you can still take the opportunity to be at one with yourself, and I have used this time to regain a little piece of myself that I had lost recently.

After the last 6 months this has been a balm that I did not realise I needed, but has been a complete break from all the troubles in the UK. I am just sorry that it has taken all the problmes to make me appreciate what I am fortunate to have.

I wont go on, but enclose a few photographs and wish you all Bon jour!

P.S. - I will add some photographs, but unfortunately at present the uploading its says NO!

Watching the World go by!

"Sitting in a cocoon of hush,
surrounded by life and it's hectic fuss,
watching as society runs by your eyes,
caught up in unnecessary pressure and confusion,
stepping away from that pain to unwind"

I'm sorry poetry is not really my forte! Was never really interested in it at school, other than the poets of World War 1 or dirty limericks!

But what I am trying to say is that over the last few days I have spent quite a bit of quiet time, by myself or with others sitting and watching the world racing by. Sitting outside Ruby Lounge on Newland Avenue (with Sister I), in Manchester (waiting for friends watching the complimentary entertainment of two buskers dancing outside Piccadilly station) or at the airport, killing the four hours until I can check in.

The Ex and I were always very interested in our environment (when we got out together). I think you could probably call it being nosey! It was a great game to work out the back history of other people when we got out.

"What do you recon that argument is about?" indicating the couple three of four tables over, where there would be a definite air or disagreement.....he obviously with a few beers to many in him.....she making her displeasure quite clear.....or the four women out for a night! Where did they come from.....what was their history......where were they going.

I love just stepping out from the constant pressures of modern life. We spend most of our lives rushing around without really stopping to enjoy the moments that we have. It is one of the reasons that I love France and Edinburgh so much.....there is such a cafe culture, where you can spend two or three hours just sitting and watching (okay that sounds very creepy! I don't mean night vision goggles in the shrubbery kind of thing!) Watching as the rest of humanity does exactly what you would be doing were it not for the fact that you had stopped - taken those precious moments out from the rat race!

Okay hands up! Think I've probably spent far too much time in this Costa coffee! Should probably have stopped after the fourth latte!

Holiday - First night!

Living in Hull, but working and flying out from Manchester, and after the last few months, I felt that it was important to start my holiday the right way. Therefore instead of four hours on trains back and forth and then on to the airport.....

"hey why not treat yourself!"

A quick look online (typically on last minute cheap room sites) I found a suite available in the Malmaison in Manchester.....and I have to say for the price it's the type of pampering that I wish I had the money to become accustommed too! Being just outside Manchester Piccadilly station, and a few minutes from Picadilly Gardens, it was really nice to sit outside and watch the world go by, with a cold beer.

After settling in.....and a bath that at 6 foot 7 I was able to stretch out in! It was onto the tiles with some friends who live in Manchester.

It was fantastic to wake up knowing that your on holiday........that all you have to do is get on a train for 20 minutes till your on the plane! Can't wait!

Yet still don't have to check out till 12:00 so time to wander down to the brasserie for brekkies, maybe a pamper session in the spa.....or as it happens ended up just lying in bed.....loving the opportunity to lie in!

If you are in Manchester and you are looking for a hotel I can highly recommend the Malmaison! The food, service and hospitality is fantastic. Whilst you can pay for the place if you check their wsebsite there are often deals available and it is great value in the heart of the city with very close transport links!

Would give it five thumbs up

Just one more sleep!

I can almost smell my holiday!!!!!

Typically for me (and I'm kind of thinking most men!) I have as usual left the packing till the night before I head off. I must admit that unusually I have been buying stuff in for a couple of weeks that I would need. Usually it is a mad dash around the airport finding things that I knew I would need, but had failed to get.

I have known people who have would carry out their first pack about a month before the holiday, the cases would sit on the spare bed, with their clothes already packed......the case would be then re-packed four or five times as clothes were reconsidered, worn, washed, decided against, and yet still a few hours before we would leave the cases would still not be closed. I have long decided why bother with all the stress, if you can save it up until the last minute! It adds a little excitement to the final few hours! (and lets face it, unless you are travelling to the far end of the world you are never going to be too far from a supermarche, supermarcado or supermarkt) There is always going to be somewhere that you will be able to pick up toileteries or clothes! (I am also a firm believer in emersing yourself totally in the culture that you are visiting......when in Rome.....wear a toga! - bring on the striped T-shirt and beret! Okay I know this is hugely stereotypical and completely inaccurate :) )

I have spent the last hour pulling clothes out of my wardrobe and draws, and pilling them into a case! Lets face it as a bloke away for a week a couple of jeans, a couple of pairs of jeans, T-shirts and a shirt or two, pants, socks, washkit.....what more can you need! I was quite surprised therefore that my bag was only half full.....that was until people decided that......

"Oh you're coming out, can you bring me my......!"
All of a sudden my half full case is now bursting at the seams!

So:
Passport - check
flight details - check
hotel reservation - check
insurance - check
money - check
= happy bunny!

But as you can probably guess I am really excited about a week away, nothing to do but read, relax, paint, drink wine, swim, eat fantastic food.....okay this seems like quite a list of things to do......but I can't wait!

I will update you as how things are going.......(and maybe make you hugely jealous with the photographs!)

Danny and Tasha get hitched!

Last week was something of a mad dash, running back and forth across the Country and then down and up it, but it was all worth it!

Thursday saw a 5:00am start to make sure that I could leave work early....as usual things never quite run to plan, and so standing on the platform waiting for the 5:40pm train home.....I was supposed to be picking up one of The Guys at 7:30!!!!! Raced home, packed, showered and was on the road again travelling down to Litchfield (a great journey down! Why can't the roads always be this quiet!!!!)

We were staying with some friends on the night before the wedding, and a few sly beers, and we were ready for bed after a very busy day! Sleeping on the floor, whilst my friend got the bed, imagine my great delight when the mate woke me up at 6:30am to tell me that it was morning, repeatedly, till I was awake enough before he fell asleep again! Well I was awake and at that annoying point of still being extremely tired, but too awake to slip back to sleep again!

Up and downstairs making a cuppa and after a shower, feeling a lot better, we started planning for the day ahead! We had booked into a hotel close to the reception and as the ceremony wasn't until 3pm we thought we would check in to the hotel and change there before heading on.....another hour long journey around Birmingham.....to arrive at 1.30pm. At last we could get ready and catch up with the wedding party!

"Of course" said one of the friends, "you can check in anytime after 12pm!" Great!!!

Except "no check in time isn't until 3pm!"

"But that's when the wedding starts!"

"Well for an extra £20 we can check you in early!" (at least Dick Turpin wore a mask!)

So scrubbed up and into best kit a race to the hotel and then catch up with the rest of the Guys!

The Bride looked blushing, and the Groom looked flushing (as expected.....it was a hot day and he had his full dress uniform on!) After a very nice ceremony we were released back outside to sit by the Severn (I think) whilst the official photograph were taken!

And after the photographs back into the bar and a very drunken night!

A great night, with lots of laughter and dancing (and the a few drinks!)

Good luck to both of you, may you have everything you desire and wish for nothing!

The Joy of Text!

I have not grown a dodgy beard, and there are no pastel pictures of compromising positions!

It's amazing how much you grow accustomed to that lump of plastic and LCD screen in your jacket pocket.

I was probably the last person in my family, Uni class, group of friends to get a mobile phone......and even then it was the most basic block of plastic, that did nothing other than make calls. Slowly it progressed from a brick, to a brick that could text, to a brick that could text and take pictures!

I have not advanced far from the brick, although admittedly it now texts, calls, takes photographs and has access to the tinterweb (most of which I can't actually access cos I managed to do the typical MAN thing of plugging it in and throwing away the manual!)

All a sudden this piece of plastic, that was a necessary evil should your car break down (and having had some complete wrecks in my time this really was a necessity!) , has become an extension to your self.......something that sits in your pocket during the commute, that sits on your desk throughout the day and on your bedside table at night......something that you seem to check every 20 minutes or so to check whose contacting you! I had no idea that this piece of modern technology had become such an intergral part of my life.........

........that was until a very drunken evening at one of my great friends weddings (or to be exact on the way back in the taxi from a very very very drunken wedding at which a lot of dancing took place [I will put some photographs up if I'm allowed]) when I realised that my modern lifeline was not in my pocket......

"where is it?" frantic searching through each pocket.....emptying them onto the taxi seat.......nothign......"Argh.......". All my contacts, all my friends.....I couldn't think of anything worse that trying to contact all my friends/colleagues/taxi companies/takeaways to get those numbers back!

At times I have to say it seemed to be the longest 4 days of my life, constantly reaching for my empty pocket, to only realise that it was not there! ARGGGGHHHHHH.

But huge thanks to The Guys who managed to find it at the reception venue, although I have yet to discover where it was found! ( and given that the reception was full of equally [if not even more drunken] Guardsmen I should really check what photographs have been taken)

Thank God for remote access

Today was supposed to be a day off, to finalise the flat, and then to relax after a hellish few weeks of constant running around. After a weekend (extended) which saw me racing from Manchester on Thursday night, home to Hull to then travel to Birmingham for a wedding on Friday and then back up to Hull for a re-enactment event over the weekend the thought of a lie in sounded fantastic.

This was until Friday evening when the landlord telephoned to say that The Girl had returned her keys early and they had been round, and could I just pop back to the flat to re-clean the oven and wipe over the shower screens again! (pretty sure that the place had been spottless when I moved out....but not going to argue when they have my deposit money!)

“Sure, is Sunday evening okay? I can then drop the keys off at 9.00am on Monday morning!”

“That is was fine” - so a start slightly earlier than I had hoped, but the keys were handed in and the relationship was finished! Dead! No More! There was nothing else now that would be part of US, and I could become ME again! (Word to the wise though……apparently it is hugely inappropriate to say thank you to your friends for their support as a status update on “Stalkerbook” – was accused of publicly bitching about her, at which point I received the lash of her friends collective tongues).

The only thing left to do with the flat was to collect the final meter readings for electricity and water.

Advice from the agents - call the property manager.
Advice from the property manager – speak to the agents.
Further advice from the agents – Oh yeah we took over the keys about 2 months ago!

Another trip to the agents to get the keys to the meter cupboard, and the flat keys back, and another two trips through town and I was again saying goodbye to the flat (I hope for the last time!)
Okay I thought……it’s now time for me…..just check my work e-mails so that I am not faced by four days worth tomorrow morning (really should learn not to do this, as it means that they can contact you, and the emergencies just happen a day earlier!)

Having spent the day off, running around sorting other peoples problems, I fancied a coffee……okay I am addicted to the stuff (the first one usually hits the system shortly after 5:00am and then throughout the day they keep coming! I think it is a defence against work mechanism…..the longer I can spend making coffee……the shorter the amount of time I have to spend at my desk!) I have to say that nearby we are really spoiled for coffee shops, especially down Newland Avenue. So with my laptop, and a latte it is amazing how much you can get done! The environment is far nicer than home…..the coffee is fresh…..and if you want a break you can watch the world go by for five minutes (alright you can spend 30 minutes watching the world go by, trying to listen in to the very interesting conversation at the next table without them realising, and then doing five minutes work!)

So as it is, I have solved the problems from work….restored my caffeine levels to around that of the gross national export of Columbia…..and updated you lovely people about my exciting (okay not really that exciting at all!) life. I can only say god bless remote access working…..and caffeine (now I only need to convince my bosses to let me telecommute everyday and I would be a happy little bunny!)

The best laid plans.......

........of mice and men!



I am a huge on planning! Often not the little things, as I love spontaneous nights out, deciding last minute that maybe a few drinks or a cinema trip would be fun, and often these are some of the best nights out (unfortunately the Girl could not do spontaneous). I do however seem to keep tumbling into plans, especially when I am in a relationship.



I hate the question "where do you see yourself in five years?"



I would love to say "well in a nice house, with a wife who I make happy, in a job that I enjoy, with enough money to pay the bills and do the things that we want to do (I don't have expensive tastes, an occasional meal out, the odd trip to the cinema.....I don't even have or want a flash car!) Instead I always mumble something about "I don't know.........somewhere else?"

Other than with The Girl about which I have bored enough people with already, I have often been drawn into plans with partners. My second fiance and I were going to be junior Doctors together and start our own practice. She is now a Doctor in New Zeland and I am a Solicitor in England. One of my other previous GF was, I have to admit, my secretary at a previous firm of solicitors. We were effectively living together and working together......whilst we were both very happy together we both realised that spending 24 hours a day with each other was not healthy. We both had our own interests but knew that to let us have any realistic prospect of staying together we had to have some distance. We also both loved Newcastle and decided that with time we would look to move up there.......

As a solicitor the prospects of me getting alternative work at the time were good, although she said that she wanted to get a job elsewhere. It was agreed after long discussions that she would move elsewhere so that we could really make a go of it. She found another job although again I asked if she was sure, that she didn't want to stay and I would find a job elsewhere......

"No, I want to do this for us!" After some pretty horrendous relationships previoulsy I was hugely touched by someone wishing do this for me.....for us! Of course as the title suggests two days before the end of her notice period she told me that "it wasn't working.....and that she didn't think she made me happy!"

In fact her ex-boyfriend had been in touch, who she gone back to a number of times, and who she had always said was horrendous to her. In the end she was drawn back, and I was set adrift. Of course all I could then associate with the office was of seeing her sitting out in front of my office, smiling in at me! I moved on three months later.

Three weeks later I met the Girl and on a whim asked her out for meal! Things seem to go really well and we got on....and the rest is as you say.....history!

There is a saying that the best plans do not survive initial contact with the enemy. I find that they do not survive the vagaries of a woman's mind..........

P.S. - Just to conclude I should add that six weeks after the break up the ex-GF telephoned me to say that she was very sorry, and whilst she knew that she had hurt me, she wanted to give it another go as she had made a mistake. As it was I had started dating The Girl and in any event had been really hurt by the unexpected nature of the separation.

I do not consider myself a catch but it made me wonder how often it turns out that the grass really isn't any greener on the other side!