I promise that I will stop boring people with my latest relationship disaster shortly, but I wondered if anyone in "blogland" had any advice about women!
I have said that I enjoy relationships where I make people happy, and I thought that I had one until a few weeks ago! Working in Manchester and living in Hull I am the first to admit that when I got home in the evening, usually about 8pm (after a 5am start) I was not really in the best of conditions to go out and hit the clubs, but I was always happy to go to the cinema or the pub or out for a meal, or even just a walk in the park (usually for which I paid......although I have to say that I was glad to do so!). Unfortunately The Girl was somewhat less accomodating.
Unfortunately there seemed to be some reason why we couldn't do something most evenings. Tuesdays were here weight watchers night, Wednesday and Thursday were taken up with meeting her Stitchetts ( a group of girls who she would meet up with and stitch at one of their homes or at a local coffee shop) [whenever it was at our flat I would be dismissed for the night!] and Fridays were undoubtedly spent travelling to see her friends elsewhere. I was not included in this, although I was expected to drop her off and pick her up afterwards.
I don't know if I am just being sensitive, but she would regularly travel to Manchester to see friends! These friends were two ex-boyfriends who she would spend the night with (often sharing a bed with one of them!) I was told that nothing happened, and I believed her, because I trusted her! She would come home and constantly tell me how great the night was, and how she hoped that neither of them would get a girlfriend as that would spoil her relationship with them. Even then this really hurt, but as I said I trusted her and I didn't want to be controlling or seem boring.
A few months ago The Girl developed a DVT that spread to her lungs, and was a very scary time for me, although The Girl didn't seem to understand how serious this was. She was in hospital for about 10 days during which I was getting about 7 hours at home after visiting her in hospital before heading off to work again. This I did gladly and during which she would repeatedly tell me that she loved me and wanted to be with me, yet all of a sudden three weeks later she decides that she isn't happy and doesn't want to be with me anymore!
To say that I was shocked is a bit of an understatement! I tried to be understanding! "why are you not happy? Is there something I can do? I will try and be home more in the evening!" but she had decided that she wanted to move out. This was then replaced by having to comfort her as her family seemed to distance themselves from her, apparently not happy with her decision, so it ended up with me comforting her while she cried in our flat about how everyone hated her! (not sure if that was really my job whilst my heart was hanging by a thread). She decided she had to move out but had nowhere to go, so I agreed to keep the flat on for another 2 months so that she had plenty of time to get somewhere sorted, and even to help her sort her stuff out. In the end she moved into a friend's house .
I have tried to remain distant, although she has been on the telephone every so often wanting me to do something else. This was until a fortnight ago. The Girl had collected a number of potted plants that looking back seemed to mean more to her than me. These were left at the flat, and as I was moving out I didn't want them to die. I took them round to her mother's although I didn't stop. This lead to a number of messages from her mother saying that I should have stopped and that she wanted to catch up. Having emptied all my stuff out of the flat over the weekend, and feeling really quite down, I decided to put down my feelings in a letter. I have known where The Girl is now living, although I don't have her address, and as I wasn't going to just turn up at her door, so I dropped the letter off with her mum. I was invited in and got to play with the Lil Kitties (two cats, Fred and Lilly that although I wasn't a cat person before I really began to love seeing.) After a quick fur fix, I was talking to The Girl's mum, when I was accused of having cheated on her! To say I was fuming was an understatement.
I understand that this arose because after changing my status on Stalkerbook a female friend jokingly put on my status that we could be public about our relationship. Putting aside the fact that I had no interest in this friend, that she had a boyfriend, that she was my friend's sister, that I have never cheated on anyone whilst in a relationship (I lie......I once kissed another girl at a disco when I was 17 and felt so guilty I could never do anything like that again!) and that The Girl knew all this, to me the key thing was that after all that I had done for her (gladly) every minute of everyday of the last two years (and even afterwards) and had clearly given my whole life to her she could still try and blame me for the breaking up of the relationtionship.
I realise that this is probably attempts to justify her decision to her friends and family, but whilst I could accept her destroying me physically and mentally, to then ruin my reputation I couldn't understand! I told her that whilst we were together I would not read her blog.....this was her space and I respected this, I kinda made the mistake of reading it after we split up in the hope of finding some answers! (REALLY REALLY WISH I HADN'T).
This all culminated in a telephone call yesterday morning to complain that I had taken her TV (this was bought with some money from her mother and the remainder we split.) I had told her from the start that the TV was hers. When I moved out on Sunday, including the curtains, I really didn't want to loose the security deposit because someone had broken in to take the TV that was on display. I had explained this to her mother, and texted her to advise. Still I got a missive last night after a 2 hours commute that she wanted it that evening. She said that she would get a taxi and pick it up, but like a fool I decided that it was quite expensive and I would take it to the road on which she lived and she could collect it. All I got was abuse for seeing her mother on Sunday!
I don't think that I am any great catch, nor do I expect another relationship anytime soon, I keep asking myself what I did wrong and how I could have avoided feeling so crummy now!
Anyway, I promise not to rant anymore! and I promise that I will try to avoid blogging about The Girl anymore.
I'm sorry I have just re-read this post, and it does read somewhat like a self-pitying rant. This was not what I intended. I have no regrets about the two years that I spent with The Girl, although I do realise that I was far deeper into the relationship than she was, and do feel that I was somewhat taken for granted, a mug at times and advantage of. I think the thing that really caused the greatest hurt was to be accused of cheating, and this posting was a result of the hurt that I felt. I hope you don't think too badly of me!
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